Took a flight the other day with the kids to see their grandparents in Adelaide. There’s a 30 minute time difference, but I didn’t want to change the clocks on my phone and laptop and all the other devices that save me fro having to actually talk to my kids, so I tried to just remember that my world is always just a little ahead of Adelaide. Anyway, before setting off, I called my mum to say the plane will be landing at 3pm.

A little while later the plane touched down and the attendant told us we could take our phones off flight mode. When i turned my phone on its clock read 3pm, so I quickly called mum to let her know we were half an hour early. Here’s the conversation that ensued:

Me: Hi mum it’s Paul.

Mum: Hiya love. I’m at the airport. I can see your plane.

Me: So you’re early.

Mum: No I just got here in time.

Me: But you’re early. It’s 2.30. How did you know we’d be here?

Mum: No it’s 3 o’clock.

Me: But my phone says it’s three o’clock.

Mum: Yeah that’s right.

Woman a couple of rows ahead of me: It’s 3 o’clock.

Me: Mum, what’s the time?

Man behind me: Do you have a 3G phone?

Mum: It’s 3.

Me: But my phone says 3.

Man behind me: It’s the 3G phone. it changes the time.

Me: How can it do that?

Another woman: It just does.

Man behind me: It’s 3pm.

Me: No, it can’t do that.

Previous woman: Ha ha ha ha ha. Idiot.

Daughter: Dad?

Me: Mum, where are you?

Daughter: You’re embarrassing me.

Mum: Get off the phone, Paul. See you off the plane.

Me: Why is my phone smarter than me?

Entire plane: (eyes rolled, silence)

There are things that I embrace in these early 21st century times. But a phone that changes time-zones for me is just a little scary. I’m afraid it’s going to start calling me Dave and asking me if it will dream if I turn it off again. I’m also afraid that getting a PhD is not just turning me into an absent-minded kinda guy. I’m just a dumbass.