I wanna know why, out of all the bloody stupid Chicken Soup for the Soul books are out there – Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul, Chicken Soup for the S&M Soul, nobody has ever had the sensitivity to write Chicken Soup for the Chicken’s Soul.

‘Cause I reckon, if there’s ever someone in need for a little word of comfort, it’d be that guy.

Seriously.